early morning entry or why in the world am I awake?

Wondering why I keep waking up in the wee hours of the a.m.  Not sure. Too much on my mind. Being alone in a house is hard. I sometimes just miss the everyday sounds of another person's movements. Don't take those sounds for granted. Just knowing someone else is in the house can be comforting. Hearing them open a door, rustle around in the bathroom, getting dressed, opening the fridge, getting a snack and leaving a mess. The sounds that are just there. It's quiet. very quiet. Sometimes when my kids were little, I would just want peace and quiet. I used to hear people say, oh no.... just enjoy them, they will be gone soon enough. I would just shudder and say, you're wrong. I now know what they were saying. I bought a huge 3 foot stuffed white polar bear who sits in my living room. He has personality and greets me each day as I come home, but, alas, he is quiet. 

All quiet is not bad though.... I do enjoy my solitude, especially after spending 8 or more hours at school in a lively room of 21 first graders. I cherish those quiet moments when I can sit on my couch, put up my feet and just enjoy the moments of silence. It's at the dawning of the day, the tucking in at night and other moments in the day that catch me by surprise that I realize I am really alone.

Cinco De Mayo

Cinco De Mayo

Trying to explain the term to First Graders is funny. I do have some Hispanics that get it. I celebrated by going out to dinner with my Secret Seven girlfriends. We had some sad news. One of our group (Dawn) has a brand new grandbaby that was diognosed with cistic fibrosis. Her little family is in my prayers.

I can't spell. Just get used to it. As Mark Twain once said "I feel sorry for the man that can only spell a word one way."

Feeling like at age 51 all my fat has migrated around my middle. Very uncomfortable. Guess it would help if I worked out and ate better. hmmmm. maybe. No one to impress.

personal revelation

"Enduring isn't always overcoming. Sometimes it is being crushed to powder with his name on our lips."
Stephen Peterson
Lesson learned in endurance. Last 5  years have been that crushing sensation, but in the process I have become well aquainted with my Savior. Through his mercy, grace and love, I have been able to find the peace I never thought possible.

Sitting in the temple yesterday, I had a revelation to my mind that helped clarify my thinking about John and his brother. I realized that amends can happen after death. I am working to make amends to him that need doing in order for me to progress. He also is making amends to me. I can feel them and I know when they are offered. It is up to me to accept them and forgive him. Such a hard process, but necessary.

Grateful to be apart of this great Gospel of Jesus Christ. No other name on earth matters. No one else can heal me or give me the peace I desire. 

My next challenge is find Mine errand of the Lord. What will he have me do. Find it and carry it out.