There was this little shop in Sante Fe that John and I went into in 1999. It was a very small jewelry shop and had handmade Indian jewelry. We were in town for a Prosecutor's conference and it also happened to be our 20th Wedding Anniversary. We decided that we would buy rings for the occasion. We each picked out a ring and the shop keeper was so impressed that we had been married 20 years, that he also gave us a Navajo wedding vase. John's ring was called, The Eye of God, made my a Zuni Indian Artist named Amy Ming. Mine is a Lapis and fire opal one.

He wore that ring until the day he died, Dec. 19, 2006. When the funereal home returned his belongings to us, the ring was inside an envelope in a box. I was at his Mom Ora's house when I got the box. I looked at the ring and thought, "I should take that out", but I didn't. Later, Ora took the envelope out and kept it. Inside the envelope was also a Ruby ring given to John by his dad, with the intent that it would go to my sons, along with Eye of God ring. At some point, Ora said that she would keep the rings until it was the right time to give them to the boys. Not being one to cause a rift, I let it go. Just before Thanksgiving, the topic came up and I asked her if I could have them because she and Chris were planning on moving into an assisted living, and I was afraid if the rings were left in the house, they might get misplaced. She said, "oh, do I have those?" Then, she said she didn't know where they were.

Yesterday, I went over to her house to help her finish packing for their leaving today. I again asked if I could have the rings. She said she didn't know where they were, but she would look. She went to look, then came out and told me that Uncle Steve had taken the Ruby one, but knew that it was for my boys. Then she said, Chris had been wearing John's ring, but didn't know where it was now.

I just looked at her and didn't say anything. What could I say? I just left. I have tried to make amends by being kind to them. I have tried to take care of them as they have aged. I have tried to give back to them with acts of kindness. I feel very rejected and disappointed. I prayed that she would find it while she was looking for it. I prayed that it would be found and returned to me. It was not to be. Now, for the forgiveness piece. I really do believe that it is imperative that I forgive her from, first of all taking them, then losing them, then not being sorry about it.

I cannot allow my negative feelings to control me. I cannot allow this to pull me down. I then decided to be pro-active and I went on-line to see if I could find a replacement ring from the Artist. I will continue to look for one similar to it. It is all I can do, that is in my power and control. Other than that, I have to Let Go and Let God.

Feb 18, 2020: An update to this: I spent the next three years going to their house and visiting with Chris while Ora went to get her hair done. We’d watch cowboy shows or sports. I’d sit and knit, and he’d say a rare word or two. Other times, Ora and I would go out shopping. We’d spend time going over embroidery patterns, quilting ideas or just gossip. I made an effort to make peace with them and as I did, the chasm lessened. We were close again and I treasure those later moments we spent together.

As for the ring: on the day of Chris’ funeral, Ora greeted me at the church. We were in the viewing in the Relief Society Room. She slipped something into my hand. It was the ring. The Eye of God ring. She said as she was getting ready for the funeral, she opened the drawer in the bathroom and it rolled to the front of it. It was like it had help from the other side of the veil to make its way back to me.
We also got the red ruby ring back for the boys. I don’t remember how.

Forgiveness is golden. What’s loss will be returned.